I was a student – for 18 years in fact. And the day came when I completed my last ever university exam, and I felt relief.
I would say something cliche, like “I had so many plans for the future”, and that I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Well, if you knew what you wanted to do in life after uni or otherwise – that’s fab, good for you – but I hadn’t got a scooby; a clue…and all the other words you can think of for NO FRICKIN’ IDEA.
I started university as a musician (I still am), but I was studying Popular Music Performance and after a few weeks on the course, I knew I didn’t fit in.
But this was difficult for me.
Music was all I ever knew. I poured my heart and soul into it; all my spare time was filled with singing, playing piano, practicing, exams…etc. So to make the life changing decision to change course was shocking, even for me. I might have even said that it was a really hard decision to make, but surprisingly, it wasn’t. It was the easiest choice I ever made. I realised I wanted a book in my hand to read; criticise; analyse, and discuss.
I mean, I shall always be a musician – that’s my hobby, but I knew that it was time for me to choose a different path.
I had a rocky first year, not quite sure what I was doing and my grades were all over the place, but nevertheless, I persisted. I went to all my lecturers for feedback and guidance so I could go start second year with a BANG. Which surprisingly, I did.
No one said that I wasn’t confident enough like they drilled into me at school. No one told me I wasn’t capable of getting my English Literature degree despite being late onto the course and not having a clue on how to write an essay. But just like learning how to ride a bike, I learned how to write. I learned how to convince people that my argument was right (or that they should at least hear me out).
The reason why I’m sharing this with you is because education/university and the journey it took me on was all I knew. I’m still struggling with a life that is without lectures or deadlines, without essays and seminars. It sounds silly, I know, but learning was my hobby. I didn’t realise just how much it meant to me until I moved back home from university.
I miss doing an all-nighter in the library because I only worked well at night with no distractions. I miss all the rants with family, friends and lecturers when I had a writer’s block and needed inspiration.
I even wrote this blog post at 10:30pm because my brain is still wired to my university body clock…a year later. You know, the first time I ever wrote a book review for this blog and my bookstagram, I wrote a full blown 1,500 word essay on language, structure (and also chucked in a few theorists for fun).
Just writing this really cheesy ‘About Me’ section, and preparing book reviews and posts for this blog has been a learning curve. To be able to write in a completely informal style has been scary; there’s so much freedom in it which I didn’t know existed!
I am excited to be sharing this all with you and I am hoping this blog will be a platform for all of you to share your opinions, start a conversation and be as nerdy as I – please don’t hold back!
Speak soon xoxo